


Devastation and Reform

by pliable_cedar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcoholism, Depersonalization, Depression, Derealization, F/M, Grief, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-17 01:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1368310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pliable_cedar/pseuds/pliable_cedar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fred is gone and coping is far beyond their reach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Devastation and Reform

The second wizarding war took everything from Hermione and George. Their families had survived of course, along with their friends; Voldemort was conquered, the Death Eaters were all captured and finally peace reigned over the wizarding world. But Fred was dead, and that was more than either of them could take.

No one else could understand the numb Hermione felt, so she sought solace from George, the only person who was just as broken as she. On the night of his funeral, George held her and looked at her and kissed her in a way that was so _Fred_ that she knew she would never be able to separate herself from him. She was experiencing so much _pain_ and this man, who looked and felt so much like her lost love, was willing to give her a bit of pleasure, so she could forget. And she took his unspoken offer, pretending to love him like she had loved his brother, hoping she could do the same in easing his suffering, but everything was temporary and as soon as they were dressed, they were empty vessels again.

Neither of them tried to hide their nightly escapades, and, after a week or so, when Molly put two and two together and screamed at Hermione about her discovery for the entire house to hear, the girl fled to the twins’ flat, the only place where no one would judge her. Afterwards, while they both lay in bed, Hermione asked if she could live there from now on. She smiled an absent smile as the red head agreed and she curled up into the sheets that smelled so much like Fred.

None of the Weasleys wanted anything to do with the two of them anymore, but they didn’t care. Upon finding out about her move, Ron promptly dropped by and raged at her about betraying Fred and using George. He was so ashamed of her, but she didn’t feel an ounce of regret, and that was why when he left, she never saw him again. Harry still dropped in everyday for at least three months, trying to convince Hermione to come live with him at Grimmauld Place, so he could help her move on because he missed his best friend. Each time, however, he was greeted with cold indifference or was simply ignored, always reminded of the fact that whoever Hermione once was, she was long forgotten. When he and Ginny got engaged, he only came once a week. When they were married, he stopped coming.

Harry once told her that she needed to face the fact that Fred was gone, but how could she when she woke up next to him every morning? He was still there when she pressed her lips to his skin, though she wondered where the scar on his shoulder had gone. He was there, his hair was the same, his face was the same, his body was the same. He tasted and felt like Fred did. But sometimes she looked into his eyes and saw how dead they were, and she knew. She could hear Fred’s death when George sobbed into his pillow early in the morning. She felt his absence when she emptied her stomach into the toilet bowl, wiped her mouth and brought the bottle back to her lips again.

So, she tried to forget. She stopped looking him in the eye, she learnt to ignore noises while she slept, she stocked up on firewhisky and just kept drinking. Before long, memories began to fade like the scent of Fred on his sheets. Hermione forgot that there were ever two men who shared her lover’s face. All she knew was the one she saw everyday, who was her only companion, her only light in the dark. She forgot that she ever had a family and friends other than this man who dedicated his life to her, to making her feel some semblance of happiness.

She kept this in mind, reminded herself everyday that _this man_ was the one she cared for, who saw her through the darkness. One night, as their bodies collided and his fingertips grazed over her body, she pressed her lips to his ear and whispered, _“I love you, Fred.”_

His eyes widened and he pulled away from her, but before she could panic, his features relaxed. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and replied, _“I love you too.”_


End file.
